Ode to a Catholic Guy T-Shirt

Remember when we posted that Lino had put his Catholic Guy T-shirts on sale on his website? Well, who are we not to go and order one for ourselves! And this past Saturday it arrived in the mailbox of Lino Watch World Headquarters & Karaoke Bar. To celebrate this momentus event, we have been inspired to compose a poem in the style of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas. We hope you enjoy it!

'Twas three weeks before Christmas at Lino Watch HQ
And our radio was tuned to Sirius 2.

Holiday Classics blared through the halls,
As staff members bounced new ideas off the walls.

"A contest… the winner with money we'll thank!"
"Nice, but we have just ten bucks in the bank."

"How 'bout a poll? Polls are so where it's at!"
"Nah, the CatholicGuyShow folks already do that."

When all of the sudden there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our desks to see what was the matter.

Outside the mailman was hard at work,
Stuffing our 'box full of junk… what a jerk!

But before we could run out and chase him away,
To the next place he drove in his rear-wheel-drive sleigh.

We opened our mailbox: bills, bills, and more bills.
The amounts that we owed gave us all tingly chills.

But then we spied out of the corner of our eye,
A label that read "Sirius XM… Catholic Guy"

Quickly we began to dance and to twirl,
And to giggle and smile like a four-year-old girl!

For what to our wondering eyes should appear?
Oh, we knew… our Catholic Guy T-shirt was here!

"C'mon, guys! The brisk air is starting to sting!
Let's all rush inside and rip open this thing!"

"To the top of the porch! To the front of the hall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"

Once out of the cold we examined our prize.
That white envelope was a sight for sore eyes.

We looked at the postage and emitted a gasp:
"They mailed this on Tuesday… boy, that was fast!"

We were certain that it would be two months or more!
Perhaps mailing is not Maureen's job anymore.

It cost $3.71 for handling and shipping,
"But we paid just ten bucks!", our staff started quipping.

Lino's so clever: "We paid $9.99,
but he made sure the postage was on Sirius' dime!"

We then read the label and declared very truly:
"That chickenscratch HAS to be written by Rulli!"

"Enough with the outside… let's see the shirt!
Or somebody here will soon get real hurt!"

The package ripped open, taking great care to handle,
There it was… purple as an advent candle.

We examined the front, the words fit for a plaque:
On one day, "I'm leaving!", and the next day "I'm back!"

Just like Brett Favre did in NFL lore.
And that's why the back has a big number "4".

Then one of us noticed, "Hey, that's really strange.
The front of his shirt has the wrong date range!"

"He announced his decision to leave on a Monday,
But August 16th was in fact, a Sunday!"

"Calm down!" we all shouted as his temper got hot.
"Don't twist your underwear all in a knot!"

"Why worry that the dates are off by one day?
We need to be grateful… he decided to stay."

"Besides, no one's perfect… not even Lino.
Not even Gus Lloyd or Rob Astorino!"

And with that, calm re-entered our dwelling,
as staff member hearts with pride started swelling.

Sinful, we know… but we couldn't resist.
The t-shirt was ours, it was now in our midst.

Because it has short sleeves, we won't wear it now.
So we'll find a way to display it somehow.

Come glorious springtime we'll wear it all places,
So people can stare, get weird looks on their faces.

We'll politely respond with a genuine grin,
And say, "It's a great show… why don't you tune in?"

"Sirius 159 is the channel.
Just punch it in on your radio panel!"

No Sirius, you say? Try 117!
That number should work on your XM machine!"

"And if you have neither, try it online for free!
You'll get not one day, or two days, but three!"

So the t-shirt now hangs at a humble workstation,
Giving our staffers new-found inspiration.

To write about Lino, his show, and his crew,
Especially the good, but the not-good stuff, too.

Not to be mean or vindictive or cruel,
But as a reminder of The Golden Rule.

And thus ends this ode… we've plain run out of room!
Besides, we have duties that we now must resume.

From the Lino Watch staff: "Merry Christmas!" and such.
Where we always like Lino… just not as much!