Very Stupid Chicken

Guaranteed to shatter your eardrums, here is Lino's newest Mock 'n' Roll Friday classic, "Very Stupid Chicken", for your listening convenience. I've even included the lyrics at the bottom so that you can sing along! Lino actually sang the song twice; this recording is from his first performance at the end of the first hour. I decided to go with this version because Lino sounds even screechier here than during his second try at the end of the show (if that's even possible).

Very stupid chicken, always temptin' me.
Very stupid chicken, I won't hear your plea.
Oh you are so tasty, in a tortilla shell.
But if I eat you now, I risk going to hell.

I can't eat you on a Friday in Lent,
And I suffer,
Stupid chicken ain't the way.

Very stupid chicken, much better than ham.
Good folks at Chipotle, put you in my hands.
Keep me full of protein, it's for you I long,
And the MINTest chicken, is the one in this song.

I can't eat meat on a Friday in Lent,
And I suffer,
Stupid chicken ain't the way.

Very stupid chicken, you know it's Friday.
Very stupid chicken, the devil's on his way.
How I want to eat you, in a burrito.
Oh, you are so temptin', but I must say no.

I won't eat meat on a Friday in Lent,
And I suffer,
Stupid chicken ain't the way.

Lino's Lenten workout

So, after the listener voting for what Lino should do/not do for Lent ended in a three-way tie between giving up Chipotle, attending daily Mass, and being nice to Jared and/or Gus Lloyd, it came down to Christine to break the tie. What she came up with is intriguing:

1. Lino has to attend daily Mass
2. He can't eat Chipotle on any days of the week containing the letter 't' (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday)
   
3. He can't insult Gus Lloyd on the other three weekdays (Monday, Wednesday and Friday)

Personally I like what Christine came up with, but I don't know if Lino's going to be able to handle a schedule like this. Of course, this just gives him plenty of opportunities to entertain his listeners by screwing the whole thing up. As Lino pointed out, though, the real person who gets screwed in all of this is Jared, who sadly was left out of Christine's decision entirely. Poor guy... I shall eat an Italian BMT from Subway tomorrow on Thursday in his honor.

UPDATE 2/26: Yesterday he added the Liturgy of the Hours to his Lenten obligation. Now I'm really interested to see if he can keep this up.