Filling out our TCGS census form

Lino's Census of The Catholic Guy Show from last Tuesday was one of the best segments we've heard in a while... and our friends at CatholicGuyShow.com took it to the next level by putting up an online form where you can can contribute to the census! Not one to shirk our civic duty, we at Lino Watch feel it necessary to fill out the form as well. Our one problem is that the survey is not as flexible as we need it to be to truly capture the kind of information we wish to provide. So listed below are our answers to the Catholic Guy Show Census 2010:

1. Are you a cradle Catholic or convert? If neither, what is your religion/denomination?

   We're so cradle Catholic that each and every one of us stopped going to Mass right after we were confirmed. That's the way it's supposed to work, right?
   

2. Do you PRIMARILY listen to TCGS in an automobile, a home system or online?

   The online form only lets us choose one option… our answer is a mixture of the above and then some. To pay our bills, it's necessary for us to moonlight with a second job during the day three days a week. Our employer bans all streaming audio from their computer network, and we don't sit close enough to a window to get a signal from the sky, so our computer back at Lino Watch HQ is rigged to record the show from the Internet while we're moonlighting. We catch the last hour of the show live in our windowless van as we drive back to Lino Watch HQ from our second job, and then we listen to the recording of the first two hours at the next available opportunity (usually while we're moonlighting the next day). On other days we listen to the beginning of the show live, then record the rest and listen to it later if karaoke time gets in the way. It's an interesting experience.
   

3. How long have you been listening to TCGS?

   We've been proud Lino Watchers since Day One: December 4, 2006.

4. What time of day do you usually begin listening to TCGS? And how long is your average listening time?

   Because of the way we're forced to do it, we could be listening at any time of the day. We catch either the first hour or the last hour live, and listen to the rest the next day, the next week... heck, we've still got some shows from last July that are on our to-do list. As for how long we listen, it could be as little as one segment, or as much as three full shows in one day. And those are some loooooooong days, let us tell you.
   

5. What is your favorite devotional prayer?

   Believe it or not, we really don't have one. We're such good Catholics.

6. What is your area of residence (City, State/Providence, Country)? What is your family's country of origin?

   First of all, to the CatholicGuyShow.com folks... providence?? Did you perhaps mean province? We're not trying to be nitpicky... we just don't want Lino's Canadian fans to feel like they're second-class listeners.

   As for our domicile, let's put it this way. We live close enough to the hosts of another Catholic Channel show that we could drive over and say "Hi" whenever we want (although we don't), but rural enough that our Catholic parish is the only one within a 30 mile radius of our HQ. Oh, and our family's country of origin? You can't go wrong when your staffers share the same heritage as the Holy Father.
   

7. What is your favorite segment on TCGS? Why do you enjoy it so much?

   We have two answers, one for the present time and one for the past. But all of our favorites share one critical component… they're all competitions where Lino sits in judgment over either the rules or the contestants' answers. That in and of itself makes for some side-splitting moments.

   If we're talking about current segments, it's a tie between Catholic Password and Scathergories. Going into the past, our favorites were Beat The Catholic Guy (how many of you remember that one?) and Who's More Catholic (a classic segment that Lino torpedoed in spectacular fashion back in October).

8. Who was your favorite guest, all-time, on TCGS?

   That's easy… who's the guest that makes Lino squirm the most AND is entertaining in her own right? That would be none other than Lino's Mom!

9. Who is your favorite member of TCGS?

   • Lino Rulli
   • Lou Ruggieri
   • Maureen McMurray
   • Fr. Rob Keighron
   • Fr. Jim Chern

   What, no past members are eligible? No Tom Falcone? No Christine Lloyd? Not even that unnamed and unceremoniously canned former producer that Lino has never quite stopped taking subtle on-air shots at?

   Well, given that, voting for Lino as favorite crew member is kind of like voting for the Eucharist as favorite Sacrament or the Virgin Mary as favorite Saint. So taking him out of the equation, our vote goes to the steady technical hand of the show who's not afraid to speak his mind even when he disagrees with Lino... Assistant Producer Lou Ruggieri.

10. When did you last go to confession?

    Listing each Lino Watch staffer's last confession date would take too much space, but because we're all sorry excuses for Catholics, we can safely say that the last time we remember going to confession was right before our Confirmations. We'll let you figure it out from there.

It… is… ALIVE!

And per his posting on Facebook, he's as self-absorbed as ever…

Lino Rulli is back from Brazil. Its so nice to be home. I was really tired of sitting on the beach, drinking, eating great food, and staring at beautiful women…

Welcome back, Lino! Sorry to hear that your plane didn't explode in an enormous fireball.

Seize The Schmutz

There's just nothing like taking a backhanded swipe at Lino while he isn't here to defend himself. Case in point: on this morning's Seize The Day, our pal Gus Lloyd was asking callers if they thought he was a little obsessive-compulsive because he vacuums his house… every day. Allie from Michigan called in and agreed with that assessment, and then offered an idea of how he could put his condition to good use:

Setting sail for the "River of January"

UPDATE @ 11:00am ET: No exploding fireballs today. Lino's flight to Rio arrived safe and sound @ 6:19am ET this morning. And with his self-imposed communications blackout now in effect, that's going to be the last we hear from Lino for a while. Time to break out some recordings of Seize The Day to keep us from getting bored for the next week.

Boy, Brazil is a long way from the United States… 4,746 miles from Atlanta to Rio de Janeiro, and it takes over 8½ hours to fly there. And we're giving you the opportunity to track Lino as he flies there… at least as far as the Caribbean. Once he gets over South America we'll have no way of knowing if his plane has exploded in an enormous fireball or not until he either gets there or we see it on the news. His flight departs at 8:45pm ET and is scheduled to arrive at 6:25am ET on Sunday, so set your alarm clocks!

Can Lino beat the clock?

UPDATE @ 4:00pm ET: Well, it looks like Lino didn't beat the clock, as we're listening to a best-of that originally aired on February 5th. Is there a possibility that he'll break in live? Who knows... we'll let you know if it happens.

UPDATE @ 3:15pm ET: The plane we think Lino is on just landed a few minutes ago at LaGuardia. Can he make it out of the airport and into Manhattan in 45 minutes? Our take: he's too loyal to his fans not to go on the air today... even if he ends up being a little bit late... and he would never waste an opportunity to let us know just how hard he worked to get back in the studio. We are watching Facebook and Twitter for any hints from Lino, but ultimately you'll just have to tune in at 4:00pm ET today to find out what really happens.

UPDATE @ 1:45pm ET: This isn't looking good, folks. The radar image above was taken at 1:15pm ET, and it shows that a whole mess of bad weather had just finished moving over Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta. As we post this he is (supposedly) in-flight, estimated to arrive in NYC a little after 3:00pm ET.

Oh boy, more flying fun for Lino. He informs us on his Facebook page that his original flight to New York City has been canceled. There's only one Delta flight that'll get him back in town in time to do the show, and you can track it right here. Will he make it? Is he even on that flight? We'll find out soon enough... but the drama is just killing us!

Delta might not be ready when you are

UPDATE @ 1:30pm ET: Call us prophetic... we threw out the drive time between Atlanta and Chattanooga in our last update, and boy did we nail it. Lino's now having to drive the rest of the way because he couldn't get another flight to Chattanooga. Fortunately for him, the rain is gone, and there are no traffic problems on I-75 to slow him down... yet. But he should watch his speed... with the budget crisis our fine state is in right now we're sure that the Georgia State Patrol will be out there trying to get Lino to help make up some of that deficit, if you know what we mean.

UPDATE @ 12:30pm ET: Well, his flight from New York finally landed in Atlanta, but about 45 minutes too late for him to make his connection to Chattanooga. Hopefully the friendly folks at Delta will be able to rebook him on a later flight. We have no idea which one, so here are the tracking links for the next two flights to Choo-Choo town:

• Delta 5417, departing at 1:05pm ET – our money is on this flight
• Delta 5177, departing at 1:57pm ET
  

Oh BTW, in a worst-case scenario (read: no room on any of the other flights), the drive time between Atlanta and Chattanooga is 2 hours and change. Just thought we'd throw that one out there.

In the Lino Watch tradition, we are happy to bring you tracking information for Lino's flights to Chattanooga today for his speech at the Catholic Charities dinner tonight. We're not 100% sure that he's on these particular flights, but it's our best guess based on what he's said on air this week. We are praying that Lino's flights to Tennessee will not explode in an enormous fireball and that he'll give a great speech tonight. We're not saying anything about his flights back, though. :)

Given that, though, Lino's already in trouble... the 8:00am flight from LaGuardia to Atlanta (the one we think he's on) took off about two hours late, which means that he'll miss his connecting flight to Chattanooga. We'll keep you posted.

• Track Lino's flight from New York to Atlanta (scheduled to depart @ 8:00am ET)
  
• Track Lino's flight from Atlanta to Chattanooga (scheduled to depart @ 11:40am ET)
  

Tomfoolery + Skullduggery =Thievery of a chalice

UPDATE 3/10/2010: The thief has been caught, and Father Rob's chalice has been returned!

In case you didn't get to tune in for the first hour of Thursday's show, the above news clip from NY1 (the audio of which was played on the show) should tell you all you need to know. Some ne'er-do-wells (as Gus Lloyd likes to call them) made off with the chalice Fr. Rob received from his family at his ordination. Value: $10,000. And they were picky, too... five stored chalices, and they selected only his to pilfer.

But just when you thought that the human race was beyond hope, the listeners of TCGS prove that theory wrong. While insurance will cover replacement of the original chalice, an effort is underway to buy Fr. Rob a second chalice that will memorialize both his old chalice and the listeners of TCGS, and Fr. Rob will use that chalice at Masses on Thursdays... the day he normally drops by the studio. Interested in making a donation? E-mail Lino directly at lino@thecatholicchannel.org.

"Mysterious" Limericks

As read by Mark Hart "The Bible Geek" on his prior two appearances on TCGS, here for your reading pleasure is the text of the limericks he composed to fulfill his penance for choosing the Colts over the Saints in the Super Bowl:

Joyful Mysteries

The Joyful Mysteries proclaim very good News,
To each of us sinners with one life to lose.
With the birth of the Son,
The battle's been won,
All hail the King of the Jews!

Luminous Mysteries

The Luminous Mysteries all shed some light,
Into various moments of Christ's Earthly might.
Though Father Rob sits and mopes,
They're good enough for the Pope,
Praying these Mysteries is both helpful and right.

Sorrowful Mysteries

The Sorrowful Mysteries offer us a cross made of wood,
And walk us to Calvary, where Mary stood.
As the skies turned gray,
And the Disciples ran astray,
Three days later we'd call Friday "Good".

Glorious Mysteries

The Glorious Mysteries announce victory for all,
Defeating death brought forth life, and also a call.
Live not for your glory,
Let God write your story,
Through Christ, God has set straight the Fall.

Lost minutes… forever lost

Sorry, folks… with deepest apologies, we won't be able to provide you with the pre-empted minutes from Wednesday's show as we had promised. Technical difficulties with the Internet prevented us from recording the overnight replay and caused us to utter things that will require a subsequent trip to our parish's upcoming penance service. If this show ever gets rebroadcast as a best-of, rest assured that we'll post the missing minutes. Better late than never, we say. Good night and sleep tight.