Congratulations to Father Jim Chern…

…on the tenth anniversary of his ordination! Too bad Lino's broadcasting from California, or else Father Jim could celebrate in style with a Who's More Catholic? victory on the show today!

Lino's ego-centric ramblings and general slandering of Gus Lloyd commencement speech

In case you missed it yesterday—and if you were listening yesterday it would've been hard because Lino made sure to play it twice—here is the audio and transcript of Lino's commencement speech. The transcript is word-for-word (we made sure to include all speaking errors) and incorporates helpful comments and annotations to provide the proper context. Audio slideshow to follow on Friday is now available so that you can turn it into a Read-A-Long!

Award for the most overused word goes to 'dialogue'… spoken three times by Rob and nine times by Lino (although it seemed like more).

Gus Lloyd: Televangelist

As we've stated previously, we're not normally in the business of taking a swipe at our pal Gus Lloyd… Lino and friends already have that market cornered. But occasionally Gus does or says something that is just too good not to be shared, and this is one of those things. He was taking calls this morning during his last hour about whether or not Catholics are obliged to evangelize other people only into the Catholic Church. During one call, Gus talked about the tendency for Catholics to equate the term 'evangelism' with the televangelists seen on TV. And then what he did next made us feel like we were back in the 1980s watching Robert Tilton during his glory days:

We love you, Gus… no matter what others say about you, or the lengths you go to prove them right.

Mama Rulli serenades her son

To make up for not giving his Mom anything for Mother's Day (other than a couple of phone calls), Lino invited her onto the show on Monday, where she exhibited her songwriting and singing skills by serenading her only child with a couple of original compositions! Click on the image above to listen for yourself, and feel free to sing along…

M-O-T-H-E-R (at 4:38 into the clip)

"M" is for the many laughs you give me,
"O" is New York odor that you know,
"T" is for the Twitters that I now see,
"H": hard-working host of your own show,
"E" for the three Emmys you have garnered,
"R" for Rome, your favorite place to be,
Put them all together, they spell MOTHER,
The precious name you have for me.

These Are A Few Of The Really MINT Things (at 6:19 into the clip)

Lou on the soundboard, Christine on the telephone,
Jared and computer and Lino on the microphone,
Listeners call in and the laughter it brings,
These are a few of the really MINT things.

Visits from Reverends Rob Keighron, Jim Chern,
Dave Dwyer and the Bible Geek all help us to learn,
"Eleventh Commandment"s, unknown Saints that have wings,
These are a few of the really MINT things.

"Who Is More Catholic" and "Minor Confessions",
"Let's Make A Catholic Deal" and "No Real Dumb Questions",
All of the hang-ups and money ka-chings,
These are a few of the really MINT things.

When the show's done,
all the prizes won,
and I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember these really MINT things,
that always make me so glad.

Sorry, that name's taken

Just in case Lino's thinking that the working title for his new book ("The Book") might make a good permanent title, he may need to think again. Turns out that Tyndale House Publishers has had a lock on the name for quite some time as the title of a heavily paraphrased version of the Bible. In fact, I remember my devoutly Catholic mother buying a version of this Bible back in the mid-1980s. And I wonder why my Catholic cathechesis was so poor.

Hmmm... a tome recounting the "funny, odd, moral, and immoral things [Lino's] done in [his] life," or a less-than-stellar translation of the Bible that's missing seven books. I'm not sure which one deserves the title "The Book" more.

Once more, with feeling

Since Lino's flight to Rome didn't burst into flames as expected, we can only assume that the fireworks are being reserved for his return flight. He's in the air right now, so if you need an activity to fill your Sunday afternoon, see if his plane makes it to this side of the pond. If it doesn't… oh, well!

UPDATE 6:00pm ET: Cheating fate once again, Lino landed neither in purgatory nor in hell, but in Newark, New Jersey at 5:37pm ET. Some might argue that there is not a great deal of difference between New Jersey and either hell or purgatory, but Lino Watch will not take an official position on the matter.