Mama Rulli, Poet Laureate

We admit that we're just now getting around to this, but it's worth it even if it's coming a few days late. On Monday's show, Lino's Mom called in and hosted the show for a large portion of the first hour in an effort to keep Lino from using his tattered voice (which ultimately did not succeed because he felt the need to respond to almost anything his Mom said). The highlight of her time on the air was a series of limericks she composed to honor Lino, the crew, and the show's recurring guests… à la the limericks Mark Hart composed about the rosarian mysteries back in February to fulfill his football picks penance. Without further ado, here is the TCGS poet laureate's newest compositions:

Lino Rulli

On the show, there's the Catholic Guy,
Who's humor is not very wry,
He's clever with banter,
But at Church… not the Cantor,
He's as sweet as banana cream pie.

Maureen McMurray

On the show there's a girl called Maureen,
Who's a fair and fine Irish Colleen,
She's such a good sport,
With the guys in her court,
She sure tunes up this Catholic machine.

Lou Ruggieri

On the show there's a cute guy called Lou,
Who holds the hours together like glue,
He does great sound effects,
He helps avoid any wrecks,
In all, he's the ace of the crew.

Father Jim Chern

On the show there's great Father Jim Chern,
Who enjoys all the jokes he can earn,
He's cheery and good,
And from an Italian 'hood.
I love, when in the games, it's his turn.

Father Rob Keighron

On the show there's so young Father Rob,
Who's ready to laugh or to sob,
He's smart and sincere,
Like scotch or a beer,
He's part of the Catholic Guy mob.

Kayla

On the show there's a sharp gal called Kayla,
Who makes every show into a gala,
Her music sure rocked,
Even if she gets mocked,
…and there's no other word to rhyme.

Anthony Buono from Ave Maria Singles

On the show there's a dating coach, Anthony Buono,
Who calls into the show on the phone-o,

(at which point Lino points out that Anthony always appears in studio, and Lino's Mom abruptly stops reading)

Is this Pulitzer Prize-winning stuff, or what?

"Most of the Shows Are Better"

In his first song parody since last year's Very Stupid Chicken, and in honor of producer Maureen McMurray's 31st birthday today, Lino went out of his way to record this special ditty, based (extremely loosely) on Even the Nights Are Better by Air Supply. Missed it on today's show? Here ya go!

Happy Birthday, Mo!

Extra, extra! Podcasts! Get your TCGS Podcasts from iTunes!

As much as we would like to take credit for this, it's not our doing. Nevertheless, Lino and crew have now made available free weekly podcasts of The Catholic Guy Show at the iTunes Music Store! So go over there and check it out. Don't have iTunes? Download it now! Don't want iTunes? You can still download the podcasts by going to this website, or you can simply click on the podcasts in the box on the right!

Filling out our TCGS census form

Lino's Census of The Catholic Guy Show from last Tuesday was one of the best segments we've heard in a while... and our friends at CatholicGuyShow.com took it to the next level by putting up an online form where you can can contribute to the census! Not one to shirk our civic duty, we at Lino Watch feel it necessary to fill out the form as well. Our one problem is that the survey is not as flexible as we need it to be to truly capture the kind of information we wish to provide. So listed below are our answers to the Catholic Guy Show Census 2010:

1. Are you a cradle Catholic or convert? If neither, what is your religion/denomination?

   We're so cradle Catholic that each and every one of us stopped going to Mass right after we were confirmed. That's the way it's supposed to work, right?
   

2. Do you PRIMARILY listen to TCGS in an automobile, a home system or online?

   The online form only lets us choose one option… our answer is a mixture of the above and then some. To pay our bills, it's necessary for us to moonlight with a second job during the day three days a week. Our employer bans all streaming audio from their computer network, and we don't sit close enough to a window to get a signal from the sky, so our computer back at Lino Watch HQ is rigged to record the show from the Internet while we're moonlighting. We catch the last hour of the show live in our windowless van as we drive back to Lino Watch HQ from our second job, and then we listen to the recording of the first two hours at the next available opportunity (usually while we're moonlighting the next day). On other days we listen to the beginning of the show live, then record the rest and listen to it later if karaoke time gets in the way. It's an interesting experience.
   

3. How long have you been listening to TCGS?

   We've been proud Lino Watchers since Day One: December 4, 2006.

4. What time of day do you usually begin listening to TCGS? And how long is your average listening time?

   Because of the way we're forced to do it, we could be listening at any time of the day. We catch either the first hour or the last hour live, and listen to the rest the next day, the next week... heck, we've still got some shows from last July that are on our to-do list. As for how long we listen, it could be as little as one segment, or as much as three full shows in one day. And those are some loooooooong days, let us tell you.
   

5. What is your favorite devotional prayer?

   Believe it or not, we really don't have one. We're such good Catholics.

6. What is your area of residence (City, State/Providence, Country)? What is your family's country of origin?

   First of all, to the CatholicGuyShow.com folks... providence?? Did you perhaps mean province? We're not trying to be nitpicky... we just don't want Lino's Canadian fans to feel like they're second-class listeners.

   As for our domicile, let's put it this way. We live close enough to the hosts of another Catholic Channel show that we could drive over and say "Hi" whenever we want (although we don't), but rural enough that our Catholic parish is the only one within a 30 mile radius of our HQ. Oh, and our family's country of origin? You can't go wrong when your staffers share the same heritage as the Holy Father.
   

7. What is your favorite segment on TCGS? Why do you enjoy it so much?

   We have two answers, one for the present time and one for the past. But all of our favorites share one critical component… they're all competitions where Lino sits in judgment over either the rules or the contestants' answers. That in and of itself makes for some side-splitting moments.

   If we're talking about current segments, it's a tie between Catholic Password and Scathergories. Going into the past, our favorites were Beat The Catholic Guy (how many of you remember that one?) and Who's More Catholic (a classic segment that Lino torpedoed in spectacular fashion back in October).

8. Who was your favorite guest, all-time, on TCGS?

   That's easy… who's the guest that makes Lino squirm the most AND is entertaining in her own right? That would be none other than Lino's Mom!

9. Who is your favorite member of TCGS?

   • Lino Rulli
   • Lou Ruggieri
   • Maureen McMurray
   • Fr. Rob Keighron
   • Fr. Jim Chern

   What, no past members are eligible? No Tom Falcone? No Christine Lloyd? Not even that unnamed and unceremoniously canned former producer that Lino has never quite stopped taking subtle on-air shots at?

   Well, given that, voting for Lino as favorite crew member is kind of like voting for the Eucharist as favorite Sacrament or the Virgin Mary as favorite Saint. So taking him out of the equation, our vote goes to the steady technical hand of the show who's not afraid to speak his mind even when he disagrees with Lino... Assistant Producer Lou Ruggieri.

10. When did you last go to confession?

    Listing each Lino Watch staffer's last confession date would take too much space, but because we're all sorry excuses for Catholics, we can safely say that the last time we remember going to confession was right before our Confirmations. We'll let you figure it out from there.